This file portion of www.watertownhistory.org website
What
Every Woman Should Know
Written and contributed by Ben Feld
Chapter l For Good Health
2 Social
Graces
3 Dress
4 The
Ideal Female Form
5 Thoughts
While Sewing
6 How
To
7 Take
My Advice
8 Cosmetics
9 Just
Good Advice
10 Take
My Advice One Last Time
11 For
Your Information
The magazines and newspapers carried
many articles of advice to women of all ages; articles purported to having been
written by women although some carry with them a tone which may lead the reader
to conclude it was actually written by a man.
In any event, we must remember that the editors invariably were men and
it was they who determined which articles would be printed in their publication.
Some of the advice was timeless: “Don’t worry,” “Don’t lay awake at night thinking of your
shortcomings,” for instance. Other pieces of advice offered now seem hopelessly
out of date: “Drink milk and cream
whenever you happen to want them.“
“Do not take more exercise than is
absolutely necessary.”
The acceptance of the
following pages of advice
is left to the discretion of
the reader.
Chapter 1
FOR GOOD HEALTH
INTERESTING TO THE LADIES,
LOOKING GLASSES.
As the ladies are
proverbially fond of looking-glasses, they should be made acquainted with a
fact, but little-known or attended to, that the beauty and truth of their
reflected images very much depend upon the quality and color of the glass
itself, which are easily detected by merely holding white paper edgeways to the
glass; and just so much as the reflected paper varies in color from the paper
applied, in the same proportions are their complexions apparently tinged or
blackened by it. Thus, many persons are
continually imagining they “look ill,” and, perhaps, from this circumstance,
really become so, from the habit of using a glass that thus unconsciously
disfigures them.
1848
It is singular that people will lay
in bed these lovely mornings, and sleep away the best part of their lives. You can form no idea how lovely the morning
is, before the sun has made its appearance above the eastern hills -- how quiet
the streets are, how beautiful the birds sing,
apparently with the only intention of pleasing you: what an hour for meditation! Did you ever try it? Of all the hours that God has given us in the
day, none is so calculated to make a woman admire all around her -- admire
herself -- admire her Maker -- as is this hour of “early morn.”
1852
From an article by Dr. Wm.
F. Coale, in a Boston
Medical and Surgical Journal:
HEALTH OF FEMALES
The fact that an English woman lives half a century
before she begins to wane while our females reach their prime mostly at little
over half that age, and that another lustrum finds them on the decline, ought
strongly to arrest our attention and induce us to examine whether we are right
in attributing all this difference to climate, and whether we might not find in
some error or habits of early life, at least a partial explanation of the
disparity.
To be brief, then, after this preface -- to state broadly
our convictions -- we think that it is a radical error to making a difference
between the physical training of a man-child before nature has made a
difference in their physical being. So
long as there are muscles to develop:
the same organs of digestion and assimilation and to be stimulated the
same apparatus of respiration to be strengthened so long should the means of
doing this be the same in each sex. A
system of physical training so planned, should, we also hold, only be varied as
functions come into play, which in the future development of the being, may
require special care, and then we allow that to this training maybe modified --
but then only so far and at such times as the demand of the last may be
paramount -- no longer and no further.
We cannot but believe that were the physical female under 12 years of
age looked upon in this lights which we have placed her, and that were the
course we have sketched out pursued in bringing her foreword to the uses of
womanhood those used would be more properly performed, and with far less wear
and pay or to the general sys tem, then that which is the daily pain of almost
every physician to witness, and which indeed often makes her a wreck long
before she has served her ultimate physical use—the crowning office as a
mother.
We would go farther, and say that the same error is made
in her moral training alas – and with the close connection in view between,
this cannot be unimportant. Her moral
training should be such, that while it made her not less a woman, it should
enable her to rise above the hundred of arbitrary conventionalists that now, in
every way fetter her – that would mould every thought and control every judgment
-- that under the names of ”propriety,” “refinement,”
“custom,” “fashion” exert an absolute tyranny over her from the cradle to the
coffin. This tyranny is broken through
only in a few individual cases, and then by a rebellion which for want of the
very moral training that originally permitted the oppression is so outré in its
aspect as to expose her to the charge of unsexing handed to render her, if not
repulsive, at least to the object of ridicule and sarcasm. In short, we wish that woman should be taught
to know her proprium, and to make herself fit to fill
it --, not as the antagonist in the slightest sense, but as the complement of
man, the other half of a beautiful unit.
While the physical training we urge would never enable her to sing bass,
the moral training would never fit her for the rostrum, the pulpit, or the hustings; but, on the contrary, it would enable her to see
clearly her unfitness for these, and still further it would enable her to see
as clearly a hundred duties around her, which are peculiarly hers as a woman,
and the old and faithful performance of which would save her from that harking
care, that the discontent, most often unrecognized by herself, that
listlessness that now saps the moral, handed necessarily the physical vitality
of hundreds of her sex – that wears them down in mind and body – that brings
them sick headaches, crooked spines, flat chests, hysteries,
premature age.
1853
RECEIPT FOR GOOD HEALTH AND
LOOKS
For a clear complexion:
Rise early
Use plenty of fresh water
Observe the strictest moderation in diet
Take plenty of exercise in the open air
To give brilliancy to the
eyes:
Shut them early at night
Open them early in the morning
Let the mind be constantly intent on the exercise of
benevolent feelings
To preserve the forehead
from wrinkles:
Cultivate contentment, calmness and a benign spirit
Never indulge a murmuring and resentful, or a malevolent
feeling
By constant adherence to
the above simple rules, many females have preserved their attractions even to
the age of fourscore years and upwards.
1855
To be sprightly, live
rightly, eat lightly, rest nightly, very quietly and long.
1884
ADVICE TO YOUNG LADIES
Don’t worry
Don’t lay awake at night to
think about your shortcomings
and other people’s sins
Don’t care violently for
anyone
Hearts and consciences are
opposed to rounded contours and shapely necks
Eat meats with fat on them,
Eat fish with white sauce
Eat potatoes, cornstarch,
simple pudding, and ice creams
Wear warm, luxurious
clothing, but be careful not to have it
so warm as to induce perspiration,
for that would prove thinning
Drink milk and cream
whenever you happen to want them
If you don’t care for these nourishing drinks, cultivate
a taste for them
Avoid lemonade, lime juice and the like
Drink not tea and coffee,
but cocoa, chocolate and milk
Spurn toast, especially if
it be made of graham or gluten bread
Eat freshly made wheat
bread, with butter and honey
Do not take more exercise
than is absolutely essential to health
Take the air -- yes --, But let it be in a carriage, whenever you can,
or sitting on a sunny bench
in the park
Violent exercise is the
worst possible thing for the woman
who would fain grow plump.
1898
HEALTH and HAPPINESS
Don’t anticipate trouble.
Don’t gossip; have faith in
God, in humanity and in yourself.
Don’t imagine every dark
cloud you see is going to bring up a cyclone.
Fill every day brimful of
sunshine for some one else, and much
of it will be reflected on
you.
Make the best of what you
possess; enjoy it; be happy today;
don’t put it off until next
year.
Take a little rest now and
then; enjoy your friends; don’t scold;
keep your thoughts pure.
Take a sponge bath every
morning in cold water, and rub briskly
with a crash towel for ten
minutes; take moderate exercise
and plenty of fresh air.
Cleanliness, purity, fresh
air, faith and calm consideration are the
best of life-preservers.
WR
Long before Martha Stewart,
Miss Manners, or even Emily Post or Dorothy Dix appeared on the scene, guidance
in the social graces was being offered freely and abundantly. In the 1800’s, an eagerness to be socially
correct was no less apparent than it had been at the time of the Revolution. What were the ladies of note wearing? How did they deport themselves? What little mannerisms separated the ladies
of the local community from the well-bred, high-toned lady of what was looked
upon as “the elite”? Much help in that
field was available in the magazines and newspapers of the day.
Chapter 2
SOCIAL GRACES
Remember, ladies, that a lady with eyes that resemble
peeled onions, and a nose as crooked as a politician’s creed, a chin like a
hoe, and a mouth stretched from here to there and opening like a jack knife,
will be sooner respected and beloved by all whose opinion is worth having, if
she possesses a good heart and kind disposition, than if she were as beautiful
as Milton’s Eve, with a cork-screw disposition and a
heart of lead.
1850
No trait of character is more valuable in a female than
the possession of a sweet temper. Home
can never be made happy without it. It
is like the flowers that spring up in our pathway, reviving and cheering us. Let a man go home at night, wearied and worn
by the toils of the day and how soothing is a word dictated by a good
disposition! It is as sunshine falling on his heart. He is happy; the cares of life are
forgotten. A sweet temper has a soothing
influence over the minds of the whole family.
Where it is found in the wife and mother, you observe kindness and love
predominating over the natural feeling of bad hearts. Smiles. kind words. And looks characterize the children, and peace
and love have their dwelling there.
Study, then, to acquire a sweet temper.
The above will apply to male, or female, and contribute
much to the health and comfort of each.
1851
Girls, never ever allow a
lover to have his arm around you. The papers daily show that
thousands of our brightest young men are going to waist.
1884
A pleasant entertainment for a few friends is called a
“quotation party.” When the invitations are given the request accompanies them
so that the recipient will come to the party with three quotations
memorized. When these quotations are
given, the name of the author is to be given by any one of the company who can
do so. The one who first guesses or
gives the name receives a favor, usually a flower; if this is not practicable a
bit of narrow, bright ribbon, that can be tied in the button hole, is
substituted.
1885
We have heard it quite frequently remarked that if the
young girls who are in the habit of flirting with the well-dressed strangers
that occasionally visit the city, would just stop and think to what extent they
are being criticized by spectators, and what questionable object these
strangers have in view concerning them, they would readily see the errors of
their actions and conduct themselves in a more lady-like manner. These young girls who ignore the attentions
of reputable resident young men, and amuse themselves by carrying on a
flirtation with strangers, cannot possibly be well thought of. Their intentions are perhaps innocent enough,
but these strangers do not consider that, but point them out and tell, in a
boastful way, what fun they had with this or that girl. and
the young lady will soon be looked upon with suspicion. There are, of course, a large number of
excellent strangers that come to the city, but they do not form the
acquaintance of young ladies by flirtation.
Girls, if you could only see yourselves as others see you, and to know
how your actions are being criticized, you would soon abandon the desire of
meeting the young travelers who have no honorable object in view.
1889
Don’t stand at the door of a streetcar and worry some man
near at
hand into giving you a seat
when there are three empty seats
at the head of the car. You all do it.
Don’t sit down in a car
until space has been made for you.
Don’t get off a car with
your back to the horses. Men get a great
deal of
fun out of your persistency in
doing this. But you are not
bound to amuse men.
Don’t leave your
handkerchief and pocketbook in your lap when you
are riding in a
streetcar. Some man will pick them up
for you
as you are passing out, but
they will get muddy.
Don’t wait until you get in front of a ticket-office
window before taking
out your pocketbook. The wives of the eight men who
are patiently waiting the
opportunity to buy tickets are
wondering why they are so late home.
Don’t have your skirt badly
fastened at the back so that your
underskirt becomes visible. You can’t see this, and no
woman will ever tell you.
Don’t keep smoothing the
wrinkles out of your waist. A few
wrinkles
will keep you from looking
hideously smooth lake a fashion plate.
Don’t try to have a long
waist. For 3,000 years the artists -- the
professor and conservators of beauty
-- have been saying that
a short waist is more
beautiful. At last please take the hint.
Don’t forget that no one
who could possibly be considered an
authority ever said a small waist
was beautiful.
Don’t wear shoes that are
not at least three-quarters of an inch longer
than your feet. Pretty feet are better than small feet. And
besides, remember how nervous and
peevish you are.
Don’t get hot and cross
when your child whispers a little on the
ferryboat. Let him howl a little. Nobody will complain but
a few old maids and a stray
bachelor, and they
are no worth considering.
Don’t forget to be punctual
in keeping an appointment. You never
are,
but it is not too late to
reform.
Don’t ridicule dress reform
until you have found out what it is.
Don’t forget to keep to
your right in going up and down stairways.
You lose much time in
shopping because you overlook this necessity.
Don’t be led by pug dog
unless you have no further interest in the
admiration of an honest man.
Don’t be so dreadfully
cordial when you meet a woman you detest.
Don’t use the word ”gentleman” when “man” will do. Every real
gentleman is willing to be called a
man.
Don’t leave the kissing
good-bye until the car has come to a full stop.
Don’t handle articles you
have no intention of buying.
Don’t use the precious
adjective “lovely” for every and any occasion.
Don’t make your husband a
selfish brute by eternally waiting on him.
Don’t give yourself a
questionable position in the world by living in
idleness on your husband’s
labors. No intelligent woman
is willing to be “supported.”
Don’t wait until you get to
the piano to pull off your gloves when
you are asked to play.
Don’t choose a time when
you have company to find fault with
your husband. If you do, he will get even with you if it
takes all winter.
If you wear a trailing
skirt in the street, don’t claim that it is because
you rather like it. Admit candidly that you haven’t the
pluck to defy an absurd fashion.
1891
Watertown has a phenomenon in the shape of a young lady
who does not like candy or chew gum. She
is a pretty girl, too, and the fact that she does not chew gum places her one
among a thousand. Then there is the
modest girl who does not like to have a newspaper reporter look at her, as she
picks her way across a muddy crossing; and the girl who thinks it is all right
for him to look at her if he wishes. It
is an indisputable fact that Watertown has a large number of remarkably pretty
girls, and they are smart, able to teach school, keep house, make a good
appearance on the street and many of them will be owner of rich farms, and
excellent chance for young men who have no farms
1892
The fashionable accent is another important matter to be
considered by the maid who desires to seem one of the society
elect. She must avoid a lisp unless she
wishes to band herself a half-century behind the times. The broad “a” of the Anglomaniac
has also seen its best days. The
Southern drawl, with its apparent indifference to the existence of the average
final syllable, is threadbare. To be
up-to-date from a vocal point of view it is necessary to cultivate a soft, low
voice, and enunciation so distinct that occasionally you convey that the
capital letter is at the end of the word, and a certain vivacity of utterance
that throughout Europe is associated with the modern American girls
1898
THE CINDERELLA GONGS
The Philadelphia matron is responsible for a new fad,
says the Philadelphia Inquirer. This is the Cinderella gong. All persons who are calling at the house are
supposed to say “Good night” when the Cinderella rings.
If a hostess is giving a party the gong is not rung until
Many a maiden has put a very pretty gong at the side of
her fireplace in the drawing-room or sitting-room, and when the clock points to
10:30 p.m. she playful steps there and rings it.
This Cinderella gong is very new, but it had its
counterpart several years ago. The charming
mother of a popular young woman arranged a little clock in a wide velvet stand.
On the white velvet the black lettering showed out strong in its paraphrasing
of the well-known lines from “The Mikado”:
“From one little maid take
the boys away, At
If a caller didn’t notice
the lettering when he first came in he would be pretty sure to do so when the
alarm went off at
1899
The official kiss is not exclusively a masculine
prerogative. There are times when court
etiquette demand that women, too, shall kiss.
On the occasion of the Crown Prince of Greece’s wedding, the bride,
Princess Sophia of Russia, the Kaiser’s sister, was obliged to bestow no fewer
than 150 kisses. The King of Greece
received three kisses, so did his Queen, so did the Empress Fredrick and the
King and Queen of Denmark and Kaiser William and the Empress, while all the
princes and princesses present received one kiss apiece.
1899
WOMEN WORKERS ARE MORAL
Carroll D. Wright, the eminent
statistician, has been looking into condition of the workingwomen of the
country, and arrives at the conclusion that work and immorality are widely
disassociated. In a recent paper, quotes
the Chicago Chronicle on the subject he says:
“The popular impression is that women
wage-workers are not up to the standards prevalent under the old hand system of
labor and woman’s entrance into the industrial field has lowered her moral
standard, and the statements constantly made that low wages naturally compel
women to supplement their earnings by an immoral life. Those who know the circumstances best are
convinced that this view is absolutely false and that the working-women of this
or any other civilized country are upon as high a plane of purity as any class
in the community.
“It should be borne in mind that
regular employment is conducive to regular living, and that regular employment
does not as a rule harmonize with a life of immorality
and intemperance or even crime. An
official investigation into the character, surroundings and conditions of
working women in 22 of the large cities of the United States, comprehending information
relating to 3866 fallen women, showed that a large proportion of them (11555)
came from housework and hotel work, the next largest (505) were from the ranks
of seamstresses, dressmakers and employees of cloak and shirt factories, while
1,236, or 31.97 per cent of the entire number, came directly from their homes.”
1899
Chapter 3
DRESS
The thirst for information
about the comings and goings of the setters of fashions in far away places had
its negatory side.
Men and women together joined in the complaint that what was considered fashionable
the summer of one year was declared hopelessly out of date the next although
still in perfect condition.
In that respect, things
have definitely not improved
The “Skirt Expander” is the
title of an article of female apparel, which is so constructed that the wearer
can enlarge or diminish herself at pleasure.
All the lady has to do is blow herself up, and she is ready to see
friends or take a promenade, join in a waltz or appear at church. By this invention it appears bustles have
vanished into thin air.
1847
The eccentric dress-reformer, Dr. Mary Swalker, has just obtained a clerk-ship in the pension
bureau. A former secretary of the
treasury once refused to give her a place in his department unless she resumed
woman’s attire. Pantaloons were dearer to her than wealth, power and treasury
position, and she promptly declined it on any such condition. The commissioner of pensions has required no
change in the cut of Dr. Mary’s garments.
She has been admitted, pantaloons and all. Perhaps other women who are seeking positions
in the Washington departments might have better success if they should put on
trousers.
1882
Square court trains are revived
Fur-bordered turbans are very popular.
The jersey corset cover
bids fair to replace those of cotton or linen.
Mouzaras tissue, an Indian fabric,
is one of the season’s novelties.
Cream lace is used with it.
Cheap kid gloves are a
delusion and a snare, which the economical
woman will do well to shun.
Velvet exotics, superbly
shaded, are the favorite garnitures for Parisian
visiting and reception bonnets.
Gloves of pale golden
brown, ecru and tan are still worn with costumes
of every description and
color. `
Gloves of white undressed
kids reaching above the elbow are the costly
favorites for evening wear in Paris,
at present. They are,
it is
needless to say, of cream white and
not the ghastly chalk white
The ultra fashionable girl
writes her letters in jet black ink, on paper
imitating exactly a fine hemstitched
handkerchief; puts the sheet
into a large square envelope,
with a hemstitched border, and